Mary feels good on some days and not so good on others. Recently she felt good enough to spend part of the afternoon going to lunch and shopping with a friend.  On her good and fair days, she is able to go for walks at San Elijo Lagoon visitors center.  Recently they have closed the parking lot and adjacent sidewalk because they are building a new facility.  This has made the trail less friendly on the "fair" days.  During the month of January Mary had 8 fair days, 9 good days and 4 very good days.

On her bad days, Mary is very unsteady and tires easily.  On these days she does not want to talk on the phone with anyone.  This winter, Mary has had a fever on three occasions.  On the first occasion the fever persisted and after a blood test, the doctor gave her antibiotics. On the other occasions, Mary was able to fight what was wrong and the fever was over in a day or two. 

Mary is sleeping 23 plus hours a day and is awake only 3 or 4 minutes at a time.  She usually wakes only to go to the bathroom, even if it is not necessary to go there as she went there five minutes before or to ask for a drink.  She is not lucid and sometimes forgets what it is that she wants to do.  Many of her old favorite pastimes now bother her (no music).

Mary's health started sliding in January and she appeared in fair health while her family was here.  After they left on 2 February, she became more unsteady, had less energy, felt more pain, became more disoriented and started eating and drinking less.  On 12 February when we went to the doctor in order to inquire about the fever she had only during the evenings we noticed that she had lost 7 pounds since our previous visit 6 days before. The next day  when we visited the oncologist, she had lost another pound.  When we got home, I prepared dinner and she refused to eat (usually she likes the meal that I had prepared.)  Over the next two days she continued to reject the food presented to her.  Thursday night she began to show erratic behavior and was totally incoherent.  I got four hours sleep as she was trying to get to the bathroom every 10 to 20 minutes.  Friday morning I called our children and they got here as soon as they could. I called the doctor and he told me that his opinion three days prior had been that she should be admitted to hospice rather than try a dangerous and painful alternate therapy and that she was not strong enough to survive the treatment.

Please do not call or e-mail as I am having a hard enough time coping,  I am ok until I have to communicate.  Please do not visit as Mary would not want even her best friends to see her in her present condition. Please no flowers.

I will let you know when Mary passes.  Other details later.

Mary passed away this morning (Thursday, 21 February 2008) at 6:30 AM.

Henry, Monica, Sandra and Gooby were at her bedside.

Mary asked that there be no service or ceremony.  My children feel that they would like to do something at the house in the near future.  We will let you know more specifics later.

Mary will be cremated and her ashes spread at sea.

Check this  website for additional details at a later time.

http://h-m-herms.net/

 In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in the memory of Mary Herms and be sent to the, any of the following 

 Please note on donation: “In memory of Mary Herms”

 If you reply to this e-mail, please realize that I probably will not look at your response until I am a little more composed.  Cards may be sent to 

 The Herms Family,  

1907 Village Wood Rd,  

Encinitas, Ca.,   92024

 Thank you for your love and prayers

Henry, Monica, Sandra and Gooby